What a relief. It was only temporary.

Thank You For Being Here, Issue #30

Author

Jenay Zhyrov
September 08, 2023

Hey! Hello. What’s good?

If you’ve read TYFBH this summer, you know this season was a bumpy, hitting-the-curb kind of ride for me. But I have good news! After three months of letdowns and lessons, we got our stolen car back.

Never again will I take the convenience of a properly working car for granted. Dallas had 21 consecutive 100+ degree days this summer and over 30 other scorchers this year. Luckily, while our busted Kia was sitting in a dusty police impound and then a repair shop, we had a rental car for July. But after our rental coverage ended, we were stuck with our older car with its barely working AC and poor acceleration.

I’ve been angry with the person who stole our car and the car thieves causing a nationwide parts shortage. I was angry with our insurance rep whenever I had to do their job for them. And annoyed at myself for feeling so worked up.

I’ve been thinking about the Maui wildfire victims (you can directly aid families displaced by the fires here) and others who have endured natural disasters and war at their doors. Their reality is devasting.

My anger is valid, but wow, how fortunate I am despite our blip of lousy luck. I may know what it feels like to lose, but I don’t know what it feels like to lose everything.

When I finally got the green light to pick up our car and sat in the driver’s seat with the AC blasting, I chilled out — physically and mentally. What a relief to be on the other side of that hot mess. What a relief. It was only temporary.

Thank you for your kind messages and well wishes and for sticking around to read these letters while I processed and navigated everything. If you’re feeling uneasy, I hope it clears up for you soon.

Thank you for being here,
Jenay

The Thank You For Being Here playlist has two new songs. If you’re not on Spotify or love music videos like me, here are the visuals:

📹️ I started paying attention to Japanese girl group XG after their xypher video went viral, and I am super into their music videos. The visuals and editing, like in GRL GVNG, are sick. Their latest song, “New Dance,” is a basic summer song — nothing to rave about — but the simplicity and girly pop energy make it catchy. The music video reminds me of the Spice Girls.

🎧️ Remember how I was on the My Chemical Romance episode of the Black People Love Paramore podcast? Sequoia recently had THEE Hayley Williams (Paramore’s frontwoman) on as a guest. Talk about iconic! Listen to the pod or watch the interview:

Overcoming decision fatigue

I’ve been struggling with paralyzing decision fatigue on the weekends. Like, to the point of tears. It’s a result of mental exhaustion, and to counteract it, I’m flipping open my journal first thing on Saturday mornings.

When I tried it last week, I quickly jotted down everything that would make the weekend feel really good. I didn’t think hard about it. I wrote whatever popped into my head, like “eat yummy food,” “see a body of water,” and so on.

Writing it down untangled the jumbled thoughts in my head so I could make plans instead of sitting around feeling conflicted about what to do. Try it out, and let me know how it goes!

  1. Decide what kind of weekend you need. Quiet and relaxing? Social? Productive? Adventurous? A mix? What would make you happy?

  2. Write a brain dump. List anything that will support your ideal weekend.

  3. Make a plan for each day. Take your list and scatter the activities across however many days your weekend is. Try not to squeeze in too many things so you can end the weekend feeling rejuvenated. The goal is to feel like your cup is full.

  4. Go with the flow of what feels good. Having a loose plan lessens the decisions you have to make later on, but staying flexible will keep the plan pressure-free. Remember, you can always change your mind.

A few of my recently published stories:

Need support with editorial content or copywriting? I’m available for new projects in October through mid-December. Reach out to work with me or refer me to a friend (referrals are so helpful!)

Despite being on a book-buying ban, I read eight books in August. The library and gifts from friends made it possible.

I devoured and loved:

  • Honey & Spice by Bolu Babalola (4.75 stars): The clever and funny banter had me cheesin’. This contemporary romance is about Kiki Banjo, a relationship-evasion expert at Whitewell University, who is determined to protect women from heartbreak through her radio show. However, she’s tested when she meets the charismatic Malakai Korede, leading to a fake relationship that challenges her emotional defenses and confronts her past. I only wish the ending wasn’t so abrupt and that there was one more spicy scene. 🛒 Grab your copy from Bookshop.org or Amazon.

  • Love & Other Words by Christina Lauren (4.5 stars): My best friend gifted this to me for my birthday, and I was hooked from the beginning. Macy Sorensen and Elliot Petropoulos were inseparable childhood friends until a tragic event separated them. Years later, they unexpectedly reunite, forcing them to confront their past and the unresolved emotions that still bind them. 🛒 Grab your copy from Bookshop.org or Amazon.

These were thought-provoking:

  • All About Love: New Visions by Bell Hooks (4 stars): I finally read this classic from 1999 and understand why it’s considered such an impactful and special book. It explores the concept of love in various aspects of life, from personal relationships to societal structures. The book delves into how cultural influences can distort love and offers insights on fostering genuine, transformative love that can lead to personal and collective healing. 🛒 Grab your copy from Bookshop.org or Amazon.

  • Homie by Danez Smith (4.5 stars): It’s been so long since I’ve read a poetry book! And this collection makes me excited for modern poetry again. It’s an anthem for friendship's redemptive power, born from losing a close friend. Through powerful poems, Smith navigates the challenges of survival and joy in a nation plagued by violence, xenophobia, and disparity, emphasizing the importance of chosen family and finding reasons to live. 🛒 Grab your copy from Bookshop.org or Amazon.

If you’re a creative, read these:

  • Steal Like An Artist: 10 Things Nobody Told You About Being Creative by Austin Kleon (5 stars): This was my second time reading these two books, the first time being 10 years ago. This one is a creative guide encouraging readers to embrace influence, draw inspiration from various sources, and remix ideas to fuel their artistic endeavors. Kleon's advice emphasizes the importance of embracing your unique perspective while learning from the works of others to cultivate creativity. 🛒 Grab your copy from Bookshop.org or Amazon

  • Show Your Work: 10 Ways to Share Your Creativity and Get Discovered by Austin Kleon (5 stars): Kleon’s second book is a practical guide emphasizing the value of sharing the creative process and progress with the world. Kleon encourages us to document our work, connect with our audience, and build a community around our creative journey to foster engagement and growth. 🛒 Grab your copy from Bookshop.org or Amazon

I thought these were good but not great:

  • Happy Place by Emily Henry (3.5 stars): If it’s written by Emily Henry, I’m buying it! After I told my friend I was 125th on the library waitlist for this book, she bought me a copy that showed up the next day. It follows Harriet and Wyn, once an inseparable couple since college, who have mysteriously broken up six months ago yet haven't revealed the reasons even to their closest friends. Now sharing a bedroom during their annual friend group getaway, they pretend to be okay while grappling with unspoken desires and the aftermath of their unresolved breakup. While I enjoyed the Emily-style banter and the overall message, this story sometimes felt repetitive. 🛒 Grab your copy from Bookshop.org or Amazon

  • Solitaire by Alice Oseman (3 stars): Written by the same creator of the Heartstopper graphic novels and TV series, this YA story follows Tori Spring, a cynical and introverted teenager, as she navigates the complexities of school, friendship, and self-discovery. When a mysterious online presence begins disrupting her life, Tori embarks on a journey to uncover the truth behind the events while confronting her emotional struggles. Alice wrote this book and got it published when she was a teenager (a decade ago), which is impressive. But I needed more from the climax and an ending that wasn’t rushed. TW: suicidal ideation and attempts, self-harm, and eating disorders. 🛒 Grab your copy from Bookshop.org or Amazon

I'll earn a tiny commission if you purchase books from the above links. Thanks for supporting authors, booksellers, and my reading habit!

Extra! Extra!

Movies

🏀🎬💕 90s and early 2000s flicks: I watched White Men Can’t Jump (1992) for the first time and loved the old-school basketball fashion. And thanks to a hilarious, out-of-context viral clip, we gave Watching the Detectives (2007) a try. It was a funny, manic pixie dream girl-type movie starring Cillian Murphy and Lucy Liu.

🐢🪲 Comic book blockbusters: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was a fun time! The characters were lovable, and the sketch-style animation was awesome. It made me think of the art in Spiderman: Across the Spider-Verse. I also enjoyed Blue Beetle, starring Xolo Maridueña. Xolo was perfect for the role, just like his role in Cobra Kai suits him. This origin story movie didn’t blow me away, but it felt like a love letter to Latino culture, and I laughed a lot.

🇺🇸🇬🇧 New York Times bestseller adaptation: Earlier this year, I read Red, White, & Royal Blue. This romance novel follows the First Son of the United States and a British prince as they navigate their complicated enemies to friends to lovers relationship amid political and royal pressures. They did a pretty good job translating it to film (despite having to leave out some details I loved in the book) and avoided making it cringe.

Series

My summer-long seven-season binge of Outlander has ended, and now I’m thirsty for the next season. In the meantime, my binge behavior hasn’t stopped.

💕 A few teen romances: I adore Heartstopper so much. It continues to be a gentle and sweet show about queer love and friendship. Season 2 of The Summer I Turned Pretty was pretty emotional. I’ve decided I’m team Jere, but mostly team “Belly, please leave these brothers alone so everyone can move on.” After TSITP, I watched Jenny Han’s other show, XO, Kitty. It’s a To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before spin-off cluttered with too many romance tropes and odd plot pacing. Nevertheless, it was entertaining.

🇰🇷 Reentering the world of K-dramas: I kicked things off with Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha, a heartwarming show about a dentist who moves to a quiet seaside town for a fresh start and forms an unlikely connection with the local jack-of-all-trades. The episodes are long (an hour and twenty minutes), giving plenty of room for various funny and heart-wrenching stories to unfold within the close-knit (and nosy) community. The show is a beautiful depiction of community care, not taking people for granted, and what it means to show up for people before it’s too late. TW: family deaths and suicide attempts.

YouTube

I miss creating videos for my channel, but I am extending my break to focus on freelance work. Here are some interesting videos on friendship and a commercial that deserves an award.

🤠 people watching at a honky tonk
📫️ surprise book mail from friends
🍮 Middle Eastern desserts
👩‍🎨 making pottery with a wheel for the first time
☀️ under 100-degree weather

Thank you Lauren B. for your generous contribution in August!

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