Let go of what's out of your control

Life is short; life is long. Thank You For Being Here, issue #28

Author

Jenay Zhyrov
July 07, 2023

Hey! Hello. What’s good?

My life has been turbulent since I last wrote you. In case you missed it, my new (used) car was stolen from our designated parking spot in our gated complex. My family drove from California to Texas to gift it to us the week prior. Some people are kind; others are cruel.

Before I share more about that mess, let’s switch to something worth celebrating. Next week marks my first anniversary of living in Texas. It’s mind-boggling how so much can happen in that time and how fast it flies by. Life is short; life is long.

A little bit of yee-haw is in my psyche now, and I welcome the extra dash of excitement and toughness. Before Vadym and I moved to Dallas, living outside of California never crossed my mind. I had zilch desire or reason to. In my teen years, Los Angeles was where I wanted to build a life and independence, and in my twenties, I thought I’d stay rooted there. To my surprise, stepping out of that environment has brought me closer to feeling limitless.

Residing somewhere new gifted me the chance to reset my lifestyle, challenge certain beliefs, and test the waters of things I never thought I’d be interested in. It’s been cool to watch friends and internet mutuals also take the risk of moving elsewhere, from Fremont to Philly, LA to the nomad life, the South to the Midwest, from one side of town to the other. I hope that no matter where we all end up, we can look back on these courageous switch-ups and be grateful for them.

When I met my friend Marrica for dumplings in May, she mentioned she’d love to live in Japan later in life. I liked how her face lit up when she talked about why. I had no answer for where I want to settle. Vadym and I are content in Dallas, but we’ll see where life takes us next year and the years after. Maybe we’ll stay in Texas, move back to California, or try somewhere new.

Big moves don’t scare me as much anymore. Since we don't have kids and might never have them, our only responsibility is moving the two of us through life. I appreciate that freedom.

Thank you for being here,
Jenay

New songs have been added to the Thank You For Being Here playlist. Not a Spotify user? Enjoy the music videos:

I’m switching between my usual coffeeshop and tropical lofi playlists with these:

Letting go of what’s out of my control
I’ve been operating in a space of mental overload. Dealing with our stolen car fiasco has pushed many of my stress buttons. We were probably victims of the ridiculous Kia Boys TikTok challenge, where thieves steal Hyundai and Kia vehicles. Safe to say, I’m never parking a car without putting an anti-theft club on the steering wheel.

  • Good news: The police found our car within four days (less than a mile from us!), and it can be repaired.

  • Frustrating news: It sat in a dusty impound lot for three weeks, racking up $800 in fees, and the process with our insurance has slowly driven me insane. Our rental car also had a tire leak, proving that life is a dramatic comedy!

  • Better news: Yesterday, the car was finally towed to a shop (not without some chaos), and now we’re waiting to see how long repairs will take. And our rental car was swapped for a different one. I’ll take any victories at this point.

This process has proven that no matter how organized I am or on top of checking in for updates, I can only do so much and have to accept that some situations will be out of my control.

Some days I’m feeling OK. And then I have one annoying call with insurance, and I’m spiraling again. Thanks to my inner circle’s reassurance and distracting myself with a major TV binge, I’ve been able to regulate my anxiety when I feel consumed by it.

My reading list for June was stacked with books I was highly anticipating, and three of them were graphic novels. Graphic novels mix two of my favorite things: illustrations and storytelling. I’m hungry to devour more of them. Reply to this with your recs, please!

  • Drunk on Love by Jasmine Guillory (3.5 stars): This was a fun and easy read, but it didn’t leave me as smitten as Jasmine’s other books. Margot is dealing with the stress of running a winery with her brother, and Luke is coping with burnout after quitting a Silicon Valley tech job. When the two strangers sit next to each other at a bar, the attraction and chemistry are undeniable. But the next morning, things get ethically complicated when Luke enters the winery’s tasting room as a new hire.

  • Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin (5 stars): The hype didn’t disappoint me. I devoured this. Two childhood friends, Sam and Sadie, are in and out of each other’s lives, linked by their love for video game design. When they collaborate on a game in college, it launches them into success and a dysfunctional friendship and partnership. The story spans 30 years, weaving together the complexities of creative work, identity, disability, grief, failure, and love. I didn’t expect to cry during this, but I did.

  • Good Talk: A Memoir in Conversations by Mira Jacobs (4.5 stars): One of my 2023 goals is to read graphic novels, and I started with this one. The story is told through the lens of the author and her husband navigating how to answer their six-year-old, half-Jewish, half-Indian son’s endless stream of questions about the American identity, their interracial family, colorism, politics, and more. I enjoyed the messy honesty.

  • Wash Day Diaries by Jamila Rowser (4.75 stars): This graphic novel is a gorgeous tribute to sisterhood and Black hair care. With five short comics, the interconnected stories explore the lives of four best friends in the Bronx as they navigate their daily routines, relationships, and hairstyles. I teared up during a story about one of the girls reconnecting with her abuela.

  • The Best We Could Do by Thi Bui (5 stars): I was on a roll with graphic novels last month! This memoir is my favorite of the three. The illustration style is beautiful, and the story is powerful. It documents Bui’s experience of trying to piece together what happened before and after her family’s emotional and dangerous journey to America, escaping the fall of South Vietnam in the ‘70s. She also digs into what it means to be a parent and the meaning of home.

If you purchase a book from one of the above links, you’ll support an independent bookstore, and I’ll earn a tiny commission too. Thank you!

My client work has been minimal lately, but I have a recently published piece to share: How to Create a Bug-Free Patio (Avocado Magazine) 🦟🚫. I currently have five bites on one leg, so I need to take my own advice.

When I feel anxious about my dip in income, I have to remind myself that I intentionally paused seeking new writing projects. Why did I do that? Summer felt like a good time to review my accomplishments and give myself space to strategize what I want to do.

Thanks to making more time for “CEO mode,” I have a specific understanding of who I want to write for and in what ways. I’ve been rewriting and redesigning my website to align with that vision, and it feels good! Soon, I’ll be spreading the word to reenter the world of pitching and onboarding new clients.

Since I feel safe with you, you can peek at the tweaks to my website and portfolio. I have a completely new “work with me” page under construction, so the site isn’t fully updated yet, but a relaunch is close.

If you want to infuse hope and joy into your blogs, web copy, or product packaging in August and beyond, get first dibs on my calendar by inquiring here!

Movies

Asteroid City is Wes Anderson’s latest visually stunning film, but the meta storytelling dragged me into confusion and boredom. I felt similarly about The French Dispatch. Anderson is one of my favorite directors, and I value trying new creative formats, but I admit I miss the cadence of his older movies.

Elemental is a touching Pixar movie about the immigrant experience with a lil’ romance between fire and water as a secondary storyline. Element City and its residents are adorable, and Vadym and I shed some tears.

Series

✏️ I’m late to the party. But in case you are too, Abbott Elementary is a hilarious and brilliantly written mockumentary-style sitcom about a group of dedicated teachers and staff at an underfunded public school in Philly. I’m hoping the slow-burn romance ignites fully in season 3!!

Because Tyler James Williams is excellent in Abbott Elementary, Vadym and I are now rewatching the early 2000s sitcom Everybody Hates Chris. We turn it on while cooking and eating dinner together.

🐻 It feels like everyone is talking about The Bear, and now I am too because it’s explosive. It’s about a fine-dining cook who returns to Chicago after his brother’s death. Although burned out and on the verge of imploding, he’s determined to transform his family’s dysfunctional sandwich shop. It’s a stark portrayal of how soul-crushing the restaurant business and grief can be.

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Outlander has me hooked. I just finished the first season* and am stoked to have six seasons ahead of me. I love a good, lengthy binge. It’s a historical drama with fantasy and romance elements that follows Claire, a British nurse who served in World War II. While on a second honeymoon with her husband after the war, she is mysteriously transported to 1743 Scotland. While in a different time period, she marries a Highlander warrior to save her freedom and life. And boyyy, Jamie Fraser is now one of my favorite male characters of all time.

*Warning: The show can be intense and violent at times. After seeing a spoiler for the season 1 finale, I fast-forwarded through the disturbing scenes to protect my mind. I don’t want to spoil it for you completely, so that’s all I’ll say.

YouTube

I’m taking a small break from YouTube to free up brain space for my freelance biz and the car situation. I posted a life update in June, right before shit hit the fan. I plan on filming and editing again soon!

☀️ quiet pool hangs
👣 being barefoot on my balcony
🥳 celebrating friends’ big life moments
🍵 making sweet cold foam for iced matcha lattes
👗 refreshing my wardrobe after wearing the same stuff for three summers in a row

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