- Thank You For Being Here
- Posts
- Ditching perfectionism for play
In The Manicurist's Daughter, a memoir I recently read, a Buddhist monk tells author Susan Lieu, “You create all your problems.” That line made me feel called out. Sometimes, little challenges or inconveniences feel bigger than they are. Or a nonissue becomes a “problem” because I have a bad habit of overthinking and catastrophizing.
Whoever said you are your own worst enemy was right.
Lately, there have been a handful of days when I’ve felt uncertain about how I’m approaching work as a freelancer. My inner critic has been overactive, fueling my insecurities, anxiety, and sleepless nights. If you’re like me, you know how it goes: your confidence wavers, your nervous system goes haywire, and everything feels overwhelming.
“It’s because I care so much,” I tell myself. Well, that justification isn’t totally cutting it anymore. Caring deeply about the things important to us is a great quality, but at what cost? Certainly not the debilitation of our health and well-being.
Anxiety is an unwelcome visitor in life. That bastard loves stirring up trouble and turning our brains into an Olympic-level mental gymnastics course. How exhausting and unnecessary.
I'm leaning into play to chill tf out and hopefully reduce my perfectionist tendencies. Play takes many forms: creative activities, movement, games, and even cooking. It’s about exploration and the pure fun of doing something for the sake of doing it.
When I was younger, I loved to draw and take art and music classes, reveling in the messy joy of creation rather than feeling paralyzed by self-doubt and imperfections.
To feel more playful, I’m starting with painting. I bought a set of acrylic gouache tubes, brushes, a sta-wet palette, extra-large watercolor pads, and I’m just going with the flow of each brush stroke. It’s pretty therapeutic.
How about you join me? Maybe painting doesn’t interest you, but you can find many other ways to play.
If you get stuck in a spiral of harsh self-criticism, answer these questions to get unstuck.
What’s the main negative thought that keeps replaying in my head? Is this criticism based on reality or on my fears?
Rephrase the criticism with more kindness and understanding.
What are some strengths and accomplishments that I’ve overlooked?
What can I do differently tomorrow to keep moving forward?
And if you’re not sure how to incorporate play into your life, ask yourself this:
When was the last time I felt truly relaxed and at ease? What elements were present in that situation?
What activities did I find genuinely playful and enjoyable as a child?
What activities have I always wanted to try but haven’t allowed myself to?
Where in my schedule can I make space for unstructured fun?
📚️ Books
The Manicurist’s Daughter by Susan Lieu
Susan, a daughter of Vietnamese refugees and successful nail salon owners, searches for answers after her mother dies during plastic surgery. This memoir is an emotional rollercoaster with stories documenting Susan’s confrontation of her grief, identity, painful family dynamic, beauty standards, and legacy. Some parts are bizarre — from spirit channeling to accidentally joining a cult — but it’s her truth, and she eventually finds peace. *ARC gifted to me by Celadon Books (release date: 3.12.24)
Side note: I’ve entered the world of another Sarah J. Maas fantasy series, Throne of Glass, and enjoyed the first book! I’ll save a full review for when I read all eight books.
🎥 Film
Lisa Frankenstein, starring Kathryn Newton and Cole Sprouse
A teen goth befriends a handsome Victorian corpse after bringing him back to life, leading to a bloody romance as they navigate family and high school drama and the unexpected need for spare body parts. This silly dark comedy, set in the late 1980s, is super camp! I had a lot of fun watching it.
Upgraded, starring Camilla Mendes and Archie Renaux
On a London business trip, an ambitious art intern gets a lucky first-class upgrade and a chance encounter with a handsome stranger. But a white lie snowballs into her pretending to be her demanding boss, entangling her in the world of high-stakes art auctions and a budding romance. I wanted more from this rom-com, but it’s a decent The Devil Wears Prada-esque movie. I had it on as background entertainment.
Dune 2, starring Timothée Chalamet, Zendaya, Austin Butler, and Florence Pugh
The continuation of the first film is another cinematic marvel. It is visually stunning and has a goosebump-inducing film score by Hans Zimmer (I especially love this song). Vadym, who has read the books, wasn’t happy with some of the changes, but as a casual watcher, I loved it.
📺️ TV
The Brothers Sun, starring Michelle Yeoh, Justin Chien, and Sam Li
When the leader of a Taiwanese triad is attacked, his hardened son Charles rushes to Los Angeles to protect his strong-willed mother and naive younger brother Bruce, all while navigating a deadly gang war and confronting their fractured family legacy. I really enjoyed this action-comedy drama with the cast’s subtle performances and incredible cultural representation. It’s violent but also funny and endearing.
Want more recs? I often share what I’m reading and watching on my Instagram stories.
What We Can Learn From Overwintering (The Good Trade)
Are you catastrophizing? Here’s how to stop assuming the worst (Vox)
The Burnt-Toast Theory is More Than a TikTok Trend - It’s a Mindset (Pop Sugar)
6 Realistic Ways to Do Less Without Blowing Up Your Life (Wondermind)
An Extremely Thorough Guide to ‘Who TF Did I Marry’ (The Cut)
 Dallas Arboretum |  My new palette! |  Gym buddies |
🌷 fields of tulips
🎶 live music with lake views
🎨 mixing paint colors
🧋making 60-second brown sugar boba at home
🧑🍳learning how to cook Chinese dishes
🏋️♀️ lifting heavier and running farther
❗Vadym got into a PhD program, and we’re moving to Houston (more on this later 😉)
To help fuel Thank You For Being Here:
Forward this email to a friend with a recommendation to subscribe
Talk about it on social media
Donate to my tea fund via Venmo @jenayzhyrov
Are you tired of putting off your brand messaging, website copy, and content?
I write for compassionate brands, creatives, and nonprofits that want to bond with people and make life better. If you need copywriting or content that’s as warmhearted as you are, I’m booking new projects with start dates in April and beyond. Inquire here!
Reply